p355 2nd Edition, p422 3rd Edition
p355 Experience, Strength and Hope
A young veteran tells how a few rough experiences pushed him into A.A.— and how he was therefore spared years of suffering.
Blog
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Tradition Three
IDENTIFICATION & UNITY
Short Form
“The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking.”
Long Form
“Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”
Key Points
- Early intolerance based on fear.
- To take away any alcoholic’s chance at A.A. was sometimes to pronounce his death sentence.
- Membership regulations abandoned.
- Two examples of experience.
- The man with the double stigma – “What would the Master do?”
- Atheist salesman called Ed
- Any alcoholic is a member of A.A. when he says so.
Tradition 3 Inventory Questions
As Bill Sees It Readings
24 Alike When the Chips Are Down 41 Membership Rules? 46 True Ambition – and False 186 “The Only Requirement. . .” 237 No Orders Issued
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Women Suffer Too
p222 2nd & 3rd Edition, p220 4th Edition.
“Despite great opportunities. alcohol nearly ended her life. Early member, she spread the word among women in our pioneering period.”
“We cannot live with anger.”
“Resentments, I’ve never had a resentment in my life.”
“We are no longer alone.”
For a more complete account of her first meeting, see Pass It On p210 – 213.
External links
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marty_Mann
https://www.pointshistory.org/post/operation-understanding-disclosure-and-stigma-in-1976
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Step 3
SURRENDER, TRUST, AND FAITH
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
Some decisions we have made
- We had been defeated.
- We needed help, and asked for it.
- We decided to keep going to meetings.
- We decided to stop acting and speak our own truth.
- We decided to listen intently to others.
- We decided to stop comparing.
- We decided to look at the literature.
- We decided to study the program.
- We decided we needed a sponsor.
- We realised that decisions are useless unless we follow through with action.
Key Points
- Step Three is like opening of a locked door.
- How shall we let God into our lives?
- Willingness is the key.
- Dependence as a means to independence.
- Dangers of self-sufficiency.
- Turning our will over to higher Power.
- Misuse of will power.
- Sustained and personal exertion necessary to conform to God’s will.
Light bulb moments
- I can’t, He can, I think I’ll ask Him.
- I need all the help I can get.
- I might have been wrong.
- Have I been listening?
- I can talk to others about this.
- Turn = a change of direction.
- Absolute requirement for a spiritual awakening to rid me of my obsession.
- The only thing I need to know about God is than I’m not Him!
- I need to make a consistent and sustained effort, and develop a routine.
“Our whole trouble has been the misuse of will-power. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God’s intention for us. To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.’s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door.”
Suggested Reading
Big Book: Ch 5 “How It Works” p60 – 63
12×12:”Step Three” p35 – 42
Came To Believe
Some pages from As Bill Sees It
- #87: Keystone of the Arch
- #122: Willingness is the Key
- #139: Basis of All Humility
- #219: Willing to Believe
- #254: Satisfactions of Right Living
Step 3 Promises
a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
c) That God could and would if he were sought.(p60) Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. (p62) Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom. (p62) When we sincerely took such a position, all sort of remarkable things followed. (p63) We had a new Employer. (p63) Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. (p63) Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. (p63) More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. (p63) As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. (p63) We were reborn. (p63) This was only the beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once. (p63)
Step 3 Prayers
Without help, it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power – that One is God. May we find Him now.
God I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. May Ido Thy will always!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.
Humble, Open-minded and Willing
Into Your hands, 0 Lord, I praise this joy, this sorrow, this problem, this decision.
Into Your hands I praise each moment as it comes, each event You send to me.
Into Your hands I put this thing I have to do or suffer.
Into Your hands this love, this responsibility.
Into Your hands this weakness, this defect, this failure,this wrong thing that I have done.
And so, finally, into Your hands I place my life as a whole,all that I am; be it done according to Your will.
My Way
Lord, take me where You want me to go;
Let me meet who You want me to meet;
Tell me what You want me to say;
And keep me out of my own way.
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Into Action part 1: Steps 5,6,& 7
p72 – 76
p72: ¶1
Precision and rigorous honesty with a new attitude.
Identify the obstacles of resentments, fears, harms and relationships as they have affected us.
“We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.”
We need to find another understanding person to share our 4th step inventory, or we may not overcome drinking.
We need to find enough humility, courage and honesty to ensure that we share all of our life story in it’s entirety.
p73: ¶1
We need to get real, and quit acting or faking it.
p73: ¶2
We have to look at facts, rather than fear clouded imperfect recollections.
p73: ¶3
We have to adopt a new attitude of absolute honesty.
p73: ¶4
Can we identify someone who we trust to be completely honest with; our sponsor, another AA member, or a member of the clergy?
p74: ¶1
Beware of choosing a family member. The rule is that we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.
p74: ¶2
Postpone ONLY if no other suitable person is available, and go back and revisit step 4.
p75: ¶1
“When we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time.”
p75: ¶2
The Fifth Step Promises
p75: ¶3
Return home and take an hour to review your progress (ie meditate). Consider each of the five steps you have taken, seeking any inaccuracies or omissions.
Fifth step prayer leads directly to:
p76: ¶1
Do we have the willingness, and are we entirely ready to let God remove from us all of the things we have admitted are objectionable?
p76: ¶2
Humbly asked . . .
“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here, to do Your bidding, Amen”
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The Set-Aside Prayer
“Dear God, please set aside
anything I think I know about myself,
about my disease,
about the Big Book,
the 12 Steps,
the Program,
the Fellowship,
the people in the fellowship,
and all spiritual terms,
especially you God;
so that I may have an open mind and
a new experience with all these things.
Please help me see the Truth. Amen.”
“The Set-Aside Prayer” (sometimes referred to as the “Lay-Aside Prayer”), as stated here, is not word-for-word stated in the Big Book; but statements and ideas that have inspired the prayer can be found in the Big Book on the pages given.
Our spiritual advisors have found that this prayer seems to have a profound affect when used while taking someone through Steps 1 and 2 out of the Big Book.
Page 42, ¶ 2:
“But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window.”
Page 46, ¶ 1:
“We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results…”
Page 47, ¶ 1:
“When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.”
Page 47, ¶ 4:
“Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things make us bristle with antagonism. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will prejudiced for as long as some of us were.”
Page 49, ¶ 2:
“We, who have traveled this dubious path, beg you to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion.”
Page 58, ¶ 3:
“Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.”
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Tradition Two
IDENTIFICATION
Short Form
“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”
Long Form
“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.”
Key Points
- Where does A.A. get its direction?
- Sole authority in A.A. is loving God as He may express Himself in the group conscience.
- Formation of a group.
- Growing pains.
- Rotating committees are servants of the group.
- Leaders do not govern, they serve.
- Does A.A. have a real leadership?
- Elder statesmen” and “bleeding deacons.”
- The group conscience speaks.
“The only problem we ever really have is separation from God”
As Bill Sees It Readings
95 Spiritual Kindergarten 98 Anger – Personal and Group Enemy 202 The Hour of Decision 237 No Orders Issued 312 Tolerance Keeps Us Sober Tradition 2 Inventory Questions
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Great Spirit Prayer
Oh, Great Spirit,
Whose voice I hear in the winds
and whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear me! I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes
ever hold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand
the things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden
in every leaf and rock.
Help me remain calm and strong in the
face of all that comes towards me.
Help me find compassion without
empathy overwhelming me.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy: myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit may come to you without shame.
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Join the Tribe
From a Canadian reservation to overseas bars to New England lockups, an Indian traveled a long trail that finally led him home to AA.
3rd Edition p474
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Step 2
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
- What can we believe in?
- A.A. does not demand belief.
- Twelve Steps are only suggestions.
- Importance of an open mind.
- Variety of ways to faith.
- Substitution of A.A. as higher Power.
- Plight of the disillusioned.
- Road blocks of indifference and prejudice.
- Lost faith found in A.A.
- Problems of intellectuality and self-sufficiency.
- Negative and positive thinking.
- Self-righteousness.
- Defiance is an outstanding characteristic of alcoholics.
- Step two is a rallying point to sanity.
- Right relation to God.
Some suggested pages from As Bill Sees It
- #3: Pain and Progress
- #4: Can We Choose
- #6: All or Nothing?
- #51: The Coming of Faith
- #141: “Restore Us to Sanity“
- #205: Virtue and Self-Deception,
- #304: Single Purpose
- #310: Learning to Trust
- #325: Humility Brings Hope
Questions
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How It Works part 2: Step 4
p64 – p71
p64
Having made our decision (Step 3) we at once embarked on “a strenuous effort to face, and be rid of the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.”
“We took stock honestly.”
A) My inventory of resentments
Which part of self has been hurt or threatened to make us feel angry?
- Pride
- Self-esteem
- Ambitions
- Personal relations (social security)
- Sexual relations (sexual security)
- Financial security
- Emotional security
p65
The three column inventory:
- I’m resentful at
- The Cause
- Affects My (Part of self that is threatened)
To which a 4th column may be added:
- Where was I to blame
We are instructed to be thorough and honest, and to review our list carefully.
p66
Anger and resentment are poison to the alcoholic, and we have to be rid of them or they will kill us. My inventory is my key to my future.
p67
“This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”
We avoid retaliation or argument and rely on God to allow us to express tolerance, pity, patience and kindness.
B) My inventory of faults
We reviewed our inventory and listed our faults in the third column – where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking or afraid? Where were we to blame? “We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.”
C) My inventory of fears
The evil and corroding thread of fear, and how it affected us.
p68
“We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves.”
Breathe in God, breathe out fear.
How have my fears changed, since I started coming to A.A.?
p69
D) My sex inventory
We have to be honest and thorough, and to have the humility to see that we are no different from others, steering clear of controversy. Have I considered what it was like for other persons involved?
Where was I selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate?
E) My inventory of harms
What parts of self did I damage in others? Did my actions or absences cause anxiety, jealousy, suspicion, bitterness fear and isolation?
We need to pray and meditate to find a resolution to each individual matter. “The right answer will come if we want it.”
p70
“If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorising. These are facts out of our experience.”
Final part of the 4th step prayer.
4th step promises
p71
Continue to build your relationship with your Higher Power.
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A Prayer For The Alcoholic
God, Please, watch over this alcoholic.
Be Thou my Higher Power as I strive towards recovery.
Permit me to lean on You for strength and guidance.
Grant that I may become totally honest about my problem.
Spark my spirit into awareness.
Help me to deal with resentments, and the real curse of alcoholism.
Take from me all hatred, anger, and wilfulness and persuade me to work toward emotional health and maturity, that I may fully enjoy the blessings of respectability.
In Thy mercy, see fit to remove my cravings for that which will destroy me.
Keep ever mindful that alone, I am unable to maintain a happy sobriety.
Bring me ever closer to you, and those who will help me along the way.
Most of all, prompt me to extend my hand to the alcoholic who still suffers, so that through them I may find you, and my continued sobriety.
